Mental Health Awareness Week, Ends.

Mental Health Awareness Week, Ends.

Mental Health Awareness Week 2018. 14thof May- 20thof May.

Ends. (like everything else in this world.)  – click here to read Monday’s post, that marked the beginning of this week. 

I have been advocating mental health for around 6 months, in an intense and determined fashion.

I have said all the clichés, I have held all the hope and I have been faced with naïvety, ignorance and pain.

 

As I join the list of people who have been sat in front of a doctor crying for help faced with a response fuelled by misunderstanding and stigma. As I now join the list of others who have tried, and tried and tried again with therapists and services

with responses that include, ‘you have to be patient, you are asking a lot’, ‘you need to put some effort in too’ and ‘THAT’S AVOIDANCE’.

 

I will never lose hope. I refuse to lose hope; I refuse to stop fighting. I am fighting my mind each day and I have it in me to fight the stigma too. I have anger, and pain, with that the world cannot stop me.

 

I have read endless AMAZING tweets this week and blog posts and other forms of media, emphasizing the value of mental health and its importance. However, nothing changes. And this breaks my heart. Scares me so much. And makes me SO angry.

 

They say those who have hobbies live longer, it’s one of those old wives’ tales, and I have a passion, a passion that is going to keep me alive and keep me fighting even when the bad days come. Not just for me, but for those who have been killed by a disease. By a cause of death that isn’t given power out of fear and ignorance of the world.

FEAR IN THE NAME, PROMOTES FEAR IN THE THING ITSELF.

WHY ARE WE SO SCARED OF DEPRESSION, ANXIETY, BIPOLAR… why is it so hard to comprehend that the biggest risk we face in life is ourselves? Why is it so hard to accept that mental health is real?

We fear it, we try to ignore it, but has anything ever been fixed and improved by pretending we didn’t see it.

 

I started this week with every intention of blogging each day, vlogging when I could and saying all I could about mental health. Instead, I was forced not to, because I sleep for 12-15 hours a day, because some days I do not have the motivation to write and because I have a mental illness.

 

Now I am here, back, on a good day, writing and finding a way to prove a point, change the world and save lives in a blog post.

 

I wish I could take away my pain, I wish that I would wake up in a spritely fashion, without fear and anticipation faced by a list of things to do and no anxiety to go with them. I wish I could come home from a busy day doing things I didn’t want to do and complain, and have a bath as I celebrate the end of the day.

I wish I could take away everyone else’s pain, and fight away the demons that not only inhabit so many of our minds but also seem to belong there.

But I can’t. Nobody can.

Those with the demons must overcome them themselves, maybe with some medication to help. But that is as far as the physical help extends. But do not tell me that IT IS MY FIGHT AND ONLY I CAN OVERCOME THE PAIN I FACE EACH MORNING.

It makes it sound so simple, so stupid and it makes me feel so so so incapable.

Mental Illness is a battle we win alone, but it isn’t a battle that is easy and one that you win without injuries.

 

This blog post by me, an 18-year-old girl who lives in East Midlands, might be read by 100 people if I am lucky, and it might accumulate up to a thousand as my blog exists in the world-wide-web for years to come. My tweets may be read by 40 people and liked by 10 but, it doesn’t change the world. It doesn’t beat the stigma.

 

I am a firm believer in democracy and I have always preached and fought for the cliché quote that is ‘every vote counts.’ So I do not believe that because I will not break the stigma by writing this, that I shouldn’t write it.

 

The thing is, all my actions can change the world, I have faith in my words, in my story and in all I say.

However, it is not in my hands what happens now.

I write this and I publish it. I share it on multiple social media platforms.

 

But I CANNOT respond or act on it.

BUT YOU CAN.

 

We always have a choice. And you have read this, I thank you for that, deeply. The truth is though, that doesn’t matter, if you do not act on it.

If you do not share it, share what you believe from what I have said, if you do not start talking about it. Talking about mental health.

 

Stop believing that it won’t matter what you do or say, and start doing and saying. At the end of the day, what is the worst that could happen? I know what the best thing that can come out of talking about mental health is. And it makes every tweet, blog, whisper and conversation worth it. Worth the pain. Because you could save a life.

 

Mental health is fatal.

 

I didn’t know how I would end this blog post, where it would go. But my mind has lead me to a point where I think it is time to leave my words with you and leave myself with my mind.

 

We do not have a physical health week, to raise awareness of broken legs and pain. I ask you why?

 

My mind is busy right now, and I hope I have given you thoughts to fill yours too. I ask you to do one thing, and that is to do anything.

 

PLEASE DO ANYTHING, JUST DO.

 

Today Tomorrow Forever

Ella.

 

#mentalhealthawarenessweek

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