Me and Make-up

in Recovery  •  23/04/2018

[dropcap]I[/dropcap] love doing my makeup, watching YouTube tutorials of others and collecting an array of new products to test and enjoy. But makeup isn’t to hide my face or hide my insecurities, I am happy in my skin in an overwhelming sense, and I do not hate my face without the layers of makeup on it. Nor do I do my makeup ritualistically each morning, or as a must before I exit the door, despite this being rare at the minute.

Makeup is so much more for me, it has been something I have found increasing pleasure in since my anxiety increased. It has been a passion I have only recently discovered. Some of this coming from plummeting myself into the blogging world and being met by the niche of fashion and makeup. I personally do not fall within this niche, yet I enjoy reading all blogs and these are up there at the top for me.

Makeup for me decreases my anxiety and is ultimately effective as it is distracting. I have tried lots of distraction techniques and many prove useless as they just don’t distract me enough.

I didn’t realise the impact that doing my makeup was having on me until my anxiety grew into a bigger demon and I recognised the difference in my busy mind before, during and after I delved into my abundance of palettes and pomade’s and started painting my face. Even as I write this it seems extremely bizarre that such a mundane task in today’s busy and modern world can have such power.  I didn’t consider writing this blog post until the other day when by chance a friend and I realised it had the same effect on each of us. It then came to my attention that maybe my strange coping tool maybe so many others too.

I have since spent some amount of time trying to create and comprehend an explanation for this to make those who are reading this with questions marks in their eyes understand why this makes so much sense.

So why does doing my make-up fulfil this?

There are multiple reasons for this. Firstly it is a task that has a very explicit beginning and end, and it is a task that realistically, must be completed in full. Therefore, when I begin, I cannot stop, I must continue and this forces me to push through my initial anxiety as I have begun as once I have started, well, I have started. Also as the task has a clear end, it is a task that I complete and do not deviate from or postpone completing, this is also due to the nature of doing my makeup as I have just mentioned.

Also, I know a lot of people perceive makeup as a simple task, which it can be, however it can also be a precise task and it requires distinct focus. This means that my mind does not deviate towards anxious thoughts as I am forced to concentrate on the straight line I am drawing to make my eyebrows darker than my hair. All of this may seem like I am blabbering complete rubbish but truly all of this is a part of my world, and my mind, each day.

I must confess too, doing my makeup isn’t a glamorous event, as a task doing my makeup doesn’t require me to get dressed, or do anything beforehand. This means that I do not have a list of things to do before or after. Therefore, it doesn’t create anxiety in the anticipation of the act.

Finally, doing my makeup is a large part of my self-care routine, on days that I do not leave the house, which falls within the majority, doing my makeup routine and carrying out skin care tasks allows me to regain some balance. Doing your makeup can sometimes be interpreted by others as a demonstration of your insecurities but for me, it is exactly the opposite. The entire makeup process is an act of self-love and an act of care. This allows myself to feel better about myself, not physically but mentally as I have nurtured myself, and though to some this may seem unimaginable, it provides me on bad days with the satisfaction of completion of a task, as on bad days, this can be rare. and sometimes impossible.

What I am trying to say…

For those of you who are reading this and suffer from anxiety yourself, I wanted to share one of my biggest tips and tricks for getting out of the house and improving a bad day. So maybe next time your anxiety is high before that family meal, or event, redo your makeup, or do your makeup? See if it helps? And comment any of your tips and tricks just like this one, I am always on the hunt for new tools and methods to make the bad days become good days!

And for those of you who are reading this and do not suffer, or do suffer, and have had those preconceived ideas based around a person due to the makeup on their face and the clothes on there back. This is a little reminder that everyone has battles and demons in their busy mind, some demons just wear eyeliner and like a pair of high heels.

Today Tomorrow Forever

Ella.

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