Glimpses of forever.

[dropcap]I[/dropcap] want to write this blog post in such a tense where I am not simply talking about myself but a moment that many have experienced. However, I cannot as I do not know if the feeling I have harnessed and captured has been of any similarity to anybody else’s experiences. But I also cannot imagine it not being an experience that anyone else has been a part of.

So let me know if you have and if not here is said event explained, even though it is more of a feeling.

We all know that nothing in life is straightforward, especially not mental health recovery. I personally have never been on a rollercoaster but after this year I feel like I do not need to. Each time my progress has dipped back down into a slump deeper than before or not quite as deep, something has woke me up.

Mental health issues when they are at their worst for me create a sense of numbness and though life goes on it feels as though time has stopped. Nobody capable of saying or doing anything to fix it, time heals and chance helps.

I have had many chance thoughts this year, which I referenced earlier as experiences. One occurring as I am writing this. I have come to realise that recovery inevitably makes every sufferer create strategies, mechanisms and techniques to make the daily fight seem a little less daunting. I have many.

I also tend to form them at my lowest of points on my rollercoaster, as I fall and Plato it is something of a chance that fires my engine back up. However, I also do this sad thing that I have right at this moment realised. I let go of my fuel when I reach the top again as the rollercoaster can ride itself downwards at a fast pace with no fuel at all.

Recovery is a rollercoaster. Yes.

But. Recovery also is about holding onto the experiences that give you fuel, because even if you don’t think you need it, it isn’t harmful to keep holding on. Nobody was ever sad having a full gas tank.

Writing. Reading. Music. Quotes.

All those things have fuelled my recovery yet sat here typing I know at my most recent slump I wasn’t holding onto any of those things.

Make happiness a habit, even if it wasn’t before.

Today Tomorrow Forever

Ella.

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