With the dreaded over commercialised holiday created to allow couples to celebrate there deep love and everyone else to feel, well lonely, drawing very close. It seems only apt that I now post my Dating Apps 101.
Dating Apps, the modern Cinderella story, as prince charming throws the perfect ice breaker over to the hopeless romantic and the rest, well as the saying goes, is history…
Isn’t that how they’re supposed to work?
Okay, maybe not, dating apps, however, are not completely useless. As some do actually find there another half amongst the swiping, chat up lines and ghosted conversations from one or both parts.
I myself downloaded Tinder after my last relationship ended, for a bit of fun I guess, and I was just intrigued as to who would swipe right for me of course… And here I am months later, still single, and a proud owner of Bumble too…
In these months I have come to realise many things about dating apps, quite quickly too! And I thought I would share my advice and my experiences with you because then you can start your dating app experience on a better foot than I did… or at least be entertained somewhat.
First things first… I asked a friend if she had any advice on dating apps, and I mean, it was the wrong friend to ask, she hasn’t got any dating apps! But, then she pointed exactly that out, and with that, I realised where I needed to begin.
How ironic that a quote from A Cinderella story comes to mind, I will go along with this strangely twisted fate and quote away…
‘Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.’
You have to be on the dating app to get anywhere, and this may seem like an obvious thing to point out, but it is where you must begin. And I think there is some sort of shame attached to dating apps, as people hide there notifications like a match on bumble is a dirty little secret to hide from the world.
The reality is no matter how much you believe you are degrading yourself or making yourself come across as desperate, you are not. In fact, you are moving with the times and knowing what you want. Dating apps may be unconventional for your parents and grandparents, but that does not mean they are something you should be ashamed of for using.
So, now we have addressed why you should use dating apps without feeling intimidated, embarrassed or alternative, I shall shed the little light I have on my advice for when using them. Some I definitely learnt the hard way too…
Understand what you want from the app, and make sure you are explicit with telling other people you talk too what that is. Bumble especially allows you to select ‘what you are looking for’ and though Tinder does not, people will sometimes declare it in there bio, or ask, so be honest when they do.
Similarly, when you create your profile and talk to people, continue said honesty. No matter what you are looking for, short term or long term, there are no benefits of lying.
I am now going to be completely cliche because no good blog post is without some sort of platitude. Be yourself. Now, this should go without saying in all aspects of your life, however, must be mentioned here. It is important that you do not pretend to be someone else, like or dislike various things to appeal to who you are speaking to.
Now, I referred to my sister for this one, and she said something very obvious, yet something we may be all need to hear now and again. Be nice, compassionate and avoid being judgemental. We are not perfect, we are instead human, do not search for perfection and your own Ken doll, you are not Barbie.
Following on from being nice, do not be too nice… If you are looking for something long-term do not be overly nice and start making justifications for an excess of compromises. Compromise does make a happy relationship, however, not everything should be one.
If you start thinking ‘No’, then simply be honest and cut things off. Dating Apps are there for ease, and to help you find someone, not to make you feel obliged to pick the nice guy with the cute dog, that actually hates your greatest passion.
I have met lots of lovely people on Tinder and Bumble but, I have had to quickly admit to myself that compatibility is important and that maybe, kindness isn’t enough when looking for love.
Now that is all of the advice I can give, but what I must remind you is that you are quite enough for anyone. And you must not let anyone suggest anything other than that, and if they do, then keep swiping… And with that, I wish you a Happy Valentines Day my lovers.